a surrendered life

While reading through the old testament with my kids, the Lord convicted me with the story of Achan in Joshua 7. He disobeyed the Lord and kept some treasure from Jericho. When Joshua sent men to fight Ai, a small city, they were brutally defeated. Joshua knew this meant the Lord wasn't with them, and he exposed Achan's sin. The lesson for us? We cannot have victory over even small struggles in our life if we have unconfessed sin. May the Lord give us sensitivity to His Spirit, and may we allow His light to expose every area in our hearts.

Teaching my children is rewarding. My older two kids sit with folded hands awaiting instruction, while my preschooler and seventeen-month-old share Legos happily on the floor. "She's taking the red lego- it's mine!" A wail from the preschooler.  Like I was saying, it's rewarding. I give my first grader his math packet, and detail our review section. He smiles and can't wait to start. "This is too long, Mommy." A moan from the first-grader. Ok...welcome to the real world. Teaching my kids isn't easy, but it's worth it. Rewarding doesn't mean they like their work- or even each other half the time- but it does mean we learn together as a family and we're growing together.  I'm letting go and allowing the Lord to teach my children through me. This means surrendering of my curriculum plans, constant prayer, and filling my mind with God's word. Not only do I have peace, but I have purpose. And I'm enjoyin

If the Experimenters know, then the glitch is closed. An ancient man trudged the narrow road, muttering to himself. The journey was pointless at best, foolish at worst. Still, Orian walked. The sun warmed his back, making the sloping descent pleasant. As it rose high over the flat horizon, he saw the familiar shape of a black orb in the distance. The dark metal sphere marred the deserted land, and- for the first time since he left at sun’s rising- Orian hesitated.  The darkness he’d lived in for so long- that he alone escaped as a young man- would consume him once more. Unless I overcome it. The thought was enough to make him take a few steps back. But there were people living in the orb- still breathing, eating, sleeping, and dying- in darkness. He had found what the Experimenters hid, what they in their schemes neglected: an exit. He walked back toward the sphere, one step, then another, his long, twisted stick assisting his aged frame through the rough patches. Half a d

It never fails; I'm eating some chocolate truffle, candy, ice cream, chips, something no-so-healthy, and one of my kids asks for it. I feel the guilt before I look down at happy, expectant eyes. So I give them a piece of it. Most often, they already had their fill of junk, and my ill-judged timing affects their bedtime. Should get a lock on my closet to indulge the truffle in peace? But wait. What if it was a carrot that I was muching in secret? Now I'm convicted. And it's not because of truffles, but a deeper principle. My kids watch my every move- what I do, eat, watch, read- everything. They want it too. If I watch sinful movies, read evil stories, and indulge in the world's entertainment, my kids want it too. And what's worse... I'm more tempted to let them have what I'm having, because I've justified it in my own life. "Do not love the world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father i

Quite frankly, I want the easy way out. Often I find myself grumbling because of a hurdle of inconvenience; I go to the laundromat but I forgot the soap or I need to cook dinner but the dishes are all dirty and my kid's are fighting. These little trifles are tests that prepare me for true hardships. "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.   And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation." James 1:3-4 As the world changes around us, it is not hard to imagine a storm of epic proportion blowing ashore on the beach of our lives. Every passing drizzle, every stubbed toe, God can use to prepare us; let's become stronger by the power of His Spirit and thank Him for these strengthening obstacles. Ponder this: Corrie Ten Boom calls her life a "perfect preparation" for the major trial of the concentration camp. She needed to trust God

I'm shocked at the difference this simple truth can make.  I guard my mind when it comes to movies and books, but I'm not as careful with my own thoughts. It seems foolish to not realize the subtle danger in my running mental commentary. This is where the battle is fought first; how freeing to win it here. " We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ..." 2 Corinthians 10:5 Ponder this: Guarding your mind has to do with your thoughts. Are you dwelling on something that is pulling you down?  Ask the Lord to take it and experience the purifying joy of a renewed mind!  My Prayer: Lord, help me to give You every single thought. I invite You into my mind- may I honor You even there where no one else sees.

Every once in a while I daydream about the carefree life. What if I could put my feet up and plan my day around my comfort?  I would enjoy Thai-curry cashews and Chai lattes; read and write all day. But the carefree life is also the goal-free life. It's also hope-free, joy-free, and growth-free. It's like gimmicky diet food- free of everything including actual nutrition. Like it or not, my greatest joys come with a measure of pain. Christ came to give me freedom from myself, not a life of ease. "If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me." -Jesus (Luke 9:23).  Ponder this- What cross are you carrying? Hint-it's connected with self-denial; what is the Lord asking you to surrender to Him? My Prayer- Lord help me to give you myself daily. Help me to surrender all my life to you- in how I speak, in what I watch, in decisions big and small- I want you to be in control.

It's no secret how much the Lord uses my children to teach me powerful truths. For example- how love and desperation, frustration and hope, and the entire emotional spectrum, can coexist in one instant. As I grow, I'm learning the value of speaking less and listening more (I discussed this in  a post  from last week). It's too easy to focus these efforts on my relationship with my husband, and other adult friendships, rather than my kids. Often my youngest will call my name over and over again. I don't hear him the first time because I'm so preoccupied with something or someone else. Truth be told, if my husband called me in that same moment, I wouldn't ignore him. Why do I ignore my children? "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 Ignoring my children does provoke them to anger. Ponder this- Do you you hear what your child is saying? Do you spend focus

Hope in it's purest form can bring a person through the severest trial and the deepest valley. But hope in transient, earthly things is like a mirage- you think it's there only to find that it's not. Pure hope is like an arrow pointing to the Lord. There's much we hope for in this life, but many of these hopes are really just empty mirages. Hope in Christ can satisfy the deepest longing and satiate the thirstiest soul. We know that when he appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself just as He is pure. (1 John 3:2-3) Ponder this- Are you longing for something earth-bound?  Is your hope in personal comforts, financial security, or the next big break? Look heavenward and experience the purifying effect of hope in Christ! "And the world with its lust is passing away, but the one who does God's will remains forever." (1 John 2:17).  My Prayer- Lord, help me to hope in You and

At a Christian bookstore I noticed a "church starting kit". Yes, you read me right- a start a church kit; a how-to on starting a church from scratch in less than thirty days. From marketing to committees, choosing a central location to creating the leadership team, it was all there. Almost. Everything except God. "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." (Psalm 127:1) Sadly, reliance on God-desperation for His wisdom, dependence on His guiding hand- is not in this kit. Someone may buy it and follow all the steps, but only end up with a sky-high tower of Babel. In the Bible, this tower was human effort at it's best; effort that ended in God-appointed confusion. While it's easy to shake my head at this, it causes me to take a hard look in the mirror. Don't I build little Babels in my own life? Anything I do- even writing this blog- can be a Babel if God's not in it. These little Babels become sources of confusion. &#

As the generations ahead of mine reach the sunset years, I've witnessed their need for friendship at this stage of life- real, true friendship. But these friendships aren't easily built during later years; we must invest in them now.  I want to take seriously the friendships in my life. But how? Again God's Word provides insight for this:  A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17). To be always loving is a high standard: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not arrogant. Love is not rude. Love does not insist on its own way. Love is not irritable. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bear s all things. Love believes all things. Love hopes all things. Love endures all things.(From 1 Corinthians 13:3-4) Needless to say, maintaining a friendship takes work. And requires a lot of prayer. I write this post because th

What a freeing joy this admission is for me; it must be my most repeated phrase. In a whisper, after finishing another load of laundry, in a silent sob after feeling  overwhelmed with daily tasks, and in a prayer offered over my sleeping children- I can't but You can, Lord. Desperation has a way of bringing me to Him. There's some odd comfort in being so needy. The truth is each of us is spiritually needy.  You might have it together on the outside, yet be bankrupt inside. Jesus says, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest" (Matt 11:28). How wonderful for those who admit weariness! How happy are you who see your burdens! Because now you can go to Him in your spirit. Ponder this- Jesus can carry everything; our part is to give it to Him. What do you need to give Him? Do it today and experience the joy of that lifted weight. My prayer- Lord I ask that you would help us to come to you with our burdens. May you l

Be quiet. No really. I'm finding this strange, inconvenient truth emerge in my life- the more I say, the more I wish I hadn't said. While I leave a lot left unsaid, I still speak more than I should. Most arguments are over words. Many hurts are from a untamed tongue.   Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry (James 1:19).  Here's the standard: " Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." (Ephesians 4:29). I so want to be this, Jesus help me! Try this with me: today make a point to only say something that is good, helpful, and encouraging to those around us (especially our children and spouses!). Needless to say, I think I'll be  biting  my tongue quite a bit and spending more time listening. Ponder this: Do you think before you speak? Do you you listen or talk more? H

Unity is a buzzword today. Most people argue that "all we need is love" and "live and let live." But- in truth- all we need is Christ. Many are looking for a save space to feel comfortable and be united. But unity comes from a connection deeper than being in the same room, or sharing the same interests. It is a core belief that people share, a belief about the world and each other that unites them. Paul says it this way, "Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit , binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit just as you have been call to one glorious hope for the future." (Ephesians 4:3-4). Unity has more to do with our spirits connecting. Apart from Christ, unity is not helpful, because it makes people feel a false sense of spiritual security. Don't be deceived, there is no spiritually neutral idea. The outworking of everyone's ideology either leads to Christ or away from Him.  Either w

I want to receive everything the Lord has for me, but I often get in my own way.  "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6)" and "without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6)" and "if you draw near to Him, He'll draw near to you. (James 4:8)"   Sin is the primary  reason I don't turn to Him. Sin puts a wall between me and the Lord. The two major sins in my life are pride and fear. Pride. I think I know better than God. Not that I'd say that out loud. But if I lean to my own understanding in a decision, then I've missed out on receiving God's wisdom. Fear. This is the opposite of faith. I can't see the outcome, so instead of seeking Him, I trust my instincts. I've missed out on seeing Him move on my behalf. Try this- ask God to show you one area to give Him completely. Do it and see how that struggle becomes a triumph, that idol becomes a footstool, or that burden becomes a blessin

My six-year-old groans when I give him a gallon of water to carry.  He grunts and struggles, huffs and complains. Finally, he begs me to help. I slip a finger under the container’s handle, carrying most of the weight. Suddenly, he’s walking tall, carrying the jug easily. Dear reader, this is what God does for us. Don’t you want God’s strength in your life? God can’t show Himself strong in your life unless He gives you something heavy to lift. Instead of begging Him take away the hardship, try asking him for strength to carry it. Then when people see you are lifting something so heavy, you can say, “It only looks like I’m carrying this. God’s doing all the lifting.” They will see your life, and glorify God. How awesome is that! “For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” 2 Chronicles 16:9 Ponder this: The heavier your life, the more strength God will give you. What are you lifting right now? How

I still enjoy getting handwritten mail. There's such personality in handwriting. Paul often had a scribe write his letters, but on occasion he penned the words himself. Imagine breaking the wax seal and unrolling a long scroll that contained this prayer from the heart and hand of the apostle; imagine he's writing this directly to you. "(I pray) that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.  I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and  what  is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe." Ephesians 1:18-20 This is my desperate prayer for my life and for my children. I pray this for you also, may the Lord bless you with Himself and with understanding as we study this prayer. One of the most helpful exercises for stu

Sure, that Egg McMuffin has protein in it.  Yes, potato is the primary ingredient in potato chips. Of course, ice cream is made of milk. *Shocker* Junk food is not all bad.  No. But it's the trace of good food in it that makes us think we're nourished. It's the same with spiritual junk food- a little biblical truth mixed with additives like selfishness and indulgence and preservatives like relevance and tolerance.   Like I mentioned in the   previous post , if you leave home spiritually hungry, your spirit will find some junk to eat. Before long we'll find ourselves nodding at a "just believe" bumper sticker or singing "You're one in a million". (Problem- Just believe in what? And if "I'm one in a million", shouldn't I focus on me?) On days like these, I'll catch myself thinking some trial is unfair or complaining "I shouldn't have to..."  A hardship is like a sudden marathon race for my spirit. Now

Simple advice that's tried and true- if you leave the house hungry, you will waste money on unhealthy food. As I was driving through a fast-food restaurant (that shall remain unnamed), the Lord struck me with a deeper truth; don't leave spiritually hungry either. We need to receive spiritual food each day by reading God's word. If we don't, we'll likely find some spiritual junk food in the world. Remember, Jesus says  "I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst ."(John 6:35).  Later in this chapter He explains: "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life" (John 6:63). Let me encourage you to spend time with His word, and make sure you don't leave hungry!  Ponder this: What is spiritual junk food? What spiritual junk food have you been eating?

My kids love playing dress up. Pretending to be a king, princess, or a doctor- anything other than a kid- excites their imagination. Adults still play dress up, only we do it with identity. Deep down each of us has some level of discomfort with who we really are. Where does this come from? The Lord created us for a purpose, to glorify Him and to worship Him. "Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and  by your will they existed and were created"( Revelation 4:11). When we don't trust in Him, when we don't obey Him, we are not fulfilling our purpose. In the depth of each soul is the recognition that all is not right with the world. And something inside us isn't right with God. When I turned from my sin to the Lord, I found my true identity in Him. "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live , but Christ who lives in me"(Galatians 2:20). Much of the world is bu

What if you alone knew the truth that could save your city? But going back could cost you everything; even your life... Blind City If the Experimenters knew, then the glitch would be closed. An ancient man trudged the narrow road toward Blind City, muttering to himself. The journey was pointless at best, foolish at worst. Still, Orian walked. The sun’s rays warmed his back, making the sloping descent pleasant. As it rose high over the flat horizon, he saw the dark shape of a black orb in the distance. The spherical shape marred the deserted land and- for the first time since he left at sun’s rising- he hesitated.  The darkness he lived in for so long- that he alone escaped many years before- would consume him once more. Unless I overcome it...  The thought alone was enough to make him turn and take a few steps back. But there were people still living in the orb- still breathing, eating, sleeping, and dying- in darkness. He had found what the Experimenters hid, what they in thei