a surrendered life

"So long self, well it's been fun but I have found Somebody else. So long self, there's just no room for two, so you are gonna have to have to move..."* These lyrics are so true. I can't form an alliance between my selfish nature and Christ's nature formed in me-- no, but this is the beauty of the gospel, how He changes me from inside out. Self battles for control of my mind, my heart, my will... perhaps this why the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength. I'm born into the world loving Self instead. Being born again in Christ means that now there's another nature in me that loves Him and wants to please Him. "But though You're love is in me, it doesn't always win me, when competing with my sin."* How I wish this wasn't true! I wish at the moment of conversion I lived for Him-- every thought, every action. But if that happened, then I wouldn't need Him, I wouldn't dep

Ok God, I've got it from here. So often, after deep times of refreshing in His word, this is my sentiment. That was great, I'm good for today, or -- to my shame -- I'm good for the week. How wrong I am! Not even a few hours later and I'm back in some dark valley opposed on all sides with no weapon. How true the hymn states I need thee every hour...  every minute, every second. Really, is there ever a time when I don't need Him? Lord forbid I should think so. There's never a point when I can say I've got this, never a moment that I don't need the sustaining grace of Christ. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.  I recognize how truly dependent and weak I am. In moments of incredible victory it's tempting to think I've accomplished it on my own, in some mysterious act of self will. But no, it's God who works in me. I need Him for life, not just pick-me-ups. My spirit needs Him like my body needs air. No breath, no life. However, daily respon

Often we think freedom is being unshackled to do whatever we want. This is the greatest bondage though. Only in Christ can we be free from doing whatever self desires. To will against oneself is utterly impossible unless the Spirit of God is birthed in us. And when this happens, the war begins. The Spirit against the flesh, the flesh against the spirit-- before the Spirit entered it was simply self reigning. Now there's an adversary to my selfish desires who can conquer me as I can not. Oh praise the Lord for Him, who makes freedom possible, though not comfortable or easy, lest we think we no longer need Him. This breaking of self feels at times as though ripped apart within, tortured between desire and will. Yet the best freedom is within reach-- the abundant life that Christ offers. Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me. Oh if I only lived this way always! To live against selfish desires is to truly love-- only think of it, how much you could serve, how much you co

Nothing lasts forever, right? Well, nothing earthbound anyway. Of course God is forever. And so is the human soul. But circumstances, life experiences-- good and bad-- are all momentary. We read that   "the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever" (1 John 2:17). But sometimes we feel like we're in a forever moment. No matter how much life moves around us, a specific circumstance may feel like it will never change. These forever moments can be good or bad. I remember getting married the feelings of joy and contentment that immediately followed that I felt wouldn't change. Or when I graduated college, or after having my first child. These moments of joy I wanted to last forever. But hardships come and with them bad forever moments. Like arguments, difficult pregnancies, unemployment, and lost friendships. The longer I live the more I find my forever moments are difficult. I love the line in Laura Story's song