I became my body. Nothing like a postpartum struggle to upend mental stability. After having my son in 2021, I went through the deep waters of anxiety and depression. My crises point came when I became my body. My mind was consumed with trying to fight insomnia, not wanting to eat, and problems with hypertension caused by deep anxiety. I focused on how to feel better and all my time was devoted to what medication/ vitamin/ exercise would cure me. Mind, body, spirit-- in terms of wellness is all connected. Sure. But after this trial I caution you about the trend that's taking a materialistic extreme. It's a subtle shift among believers to suggest that since the spirit is in the body it's of the body. Truth is if Christ's spirit indwells you, if the Father and the Son have made their home with you, then your spirit is from above. I am in the world, but I am not of the world. In the same way, I am in my body but not of it. (This is only true for the believer, an unbeliever is trapped in the body and cannot be free from it apart from Christ). The scriptures teach that our bodies are "clay pots" or "tents". The apostle Paul speaks of his outer self wasting away, but his inner spirit being renewed day by day. He's even anxious to throw off this tent and enter glory. To see Him who is our life. We are called to set our minds on the things above, not on the things of this earth. This isn't to negate or ignore seasons of pain, but see through the pain. See above the pain. Set your mind on things above. I learned that when my mind's not thinking clearly, thinking my own thoughts is foolish. I need God's thoughts, I need Godly counsel. During these dark nights of the soul, listen but don't try to think. This is spiritual growth. What you hear in the dark, share when you make it through, speak back into that same dark cave to others yet to emerge. Find the balance between between being a good steward of your body and letting it control your spirit. Paul suggests beating the body into submission. We know not to obey it's sinful appetites, but what about it distracting us from Christ. I eventually learned to tell it to stop. I am in my body, but I am not of my body. I will not let it control me.
Often we think freedom is being unshackled to do whatever we want. This is the greatest bondage though. Only in Christ can we be free from doing whatever self desires. To will against oneself is utterly impossible unless the Spirit of God is birthed in us. And when this happens, the war begins. The Spirit against the flesh, the flesh against the spirit-- before the Spirit entered it was simply self reigning. Now there's an adversary to my selfish desires who can conquer me as I can not. Oh praise the Lord for Him, who makes freedom possible, though not comfortable or easy, lest we think we no longer need Him. This breaking of self feels at times as though ripped apart within, tortured between desire and will. Yet the best freedom is within reach-- the abundant life that Christ offers. Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me. Oh if I only lived this way always! To live against selfish desires is to truly love-- only think of it, how much you could serve, how much you co...
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